Beginnings

 Hi,

`Hi,` it´s a tiny simple word. A bit silly actually, if you say it a couple of times. But this silly, tiny word can be the most meaningful word in the world. At least for me it is. It´s a word that connects, a word that can start great relationships, a word for long friendships and lovers. All of this with the word Hi. Its 50% of the work, sometimes the easiest 50%. 
 
This word can and will connect me with you, because god I had to do this sometime.
And today is that day I guess, all of my thoughts here, in the open world.
I´ve been thinking of doing this a long time, thinking about it, but never doing so. But something changed today and I can´t tell what. Is it the fact that I am awake at this moment(for me it´s kinda early) or that I started my day going to work, and suddenly get the day off?
Not that it matters at this point, what matters is that I am doing it now and will continue to do so, but I'm kinda drifting off here. 
 
Lets start with some kind of introductions, my name is Timothy Stephan Joseph.
A mouthful I know, but you can just call me Tim for short. I'm 21 years old, work as a nurse in a rehabilitation centre and I'm doing a kind or prep school in the weekends for art school.
My dream is to become a designer, preferably in the fashion industry. Although I already finished school and have a full-time job, I'm an artist at heart. (haha cliché I know)
I don't want to live my life, thinking what would have happened if I had applied to such a school? No, I want to actually do it, and get out there doing what I want and have to do.

Somewhere I want to believe that there is more in life for me.
Its comforting, believing and thinking that you can and maybe will do great things in your life.
It's what keeps you going, it's what keeps me going. Even when I look around and see all these other people achieve great things in life for themselves. It makes me feel jealous inside, I want to be happy for them and I probably am.But deep down, I hate it. Because you want to be that person. You want to know how it feels. You make a perfect illusion of how things are for them.

Today, I want to break that illusion for myself. Today I want to mark the beginning. An era for myself where I can achieve things that make me happy. Achieve things that can inspire other people. Acknowledge myself for what I can do and what I will do. And open a path for myself.